2021.10.26 15:16 moonstruck_midnight How do I set boundaries with a swinger couple?
Alright, I don’t even know if this counts as “dating advice” but I guess it’s close enough.
My partner and I started going to a new church. It’s a UU one, and it’s the only one for miles. We really like the place and everyone we’ve met is nice and welcoming, if a little weird. We’ve only been a few times, but I used to go to UU churches and I’ve been going through a lot lately and REALLY need this kind of community.
Everything was going fine and then, when things wrapped up on Sunday, a couple invited us to lunch. We went, as did another newcomer to the church, and we chatted for a while. My partner and I are both 24, and the couple is probably in their mid 50s or early 60s. We thought they were harmless, if weird. They made one comment about “sexual deviants” at lunch, but it was in relation to spicy food and how people perceive pain/seek it out. I’m very sex-positive, as is my partner, so neither of us thought much of it.
The other guy leaves and the couple invites us to stop by their house, to see their farm and meet their chickens and take home some fresh eggs. So we go, and it’s great. They have a variety of crops and I got to pet a turkey and a labradoodle, so things were going well. They invite us inside, we drink some juice and chat, and the dude says my partner and I remind him of their relationship.
Now, I have some health issues that are very noticeable in the sense that I use a cane. They asked a little about it, and turns out, dude used to make a career out of reflexology. I don’t know much about it, but he asks if I’d like to try it to see if it helps.
Things are fine until he goes to take my sock off and asks my partner “Is it okay if I undress her?” 🚩
My partner is startled and says something along the lines of “That’s her decision,” and we exchange a look. Then he starts doing his thing and says something like “Now, if it hurts, you’re going to have to tell me… or just call me master.” 🚩🚩🚩🚩
My partner and I exchange another look and they raise an eyebrow and hold a thumbs up to ask if I’m okay, and I say I am. At this point, I’m still thinking this could just be his sense of humor, I’ve had plenty of friends who talk like this, and also, when I’m in situations like this, I tend to just go “I guess this is happening now” because I want to see how it pans out before making assumptions.
Over the course of this weirdly sensual foot massage, he’s managing to worm in stuff like how he’s impressed with my pain tolerance, and how other clients needed to safeword, and I reminded him of a really hot chick who once came to him and he only knew when he hit a pain spot because she breathed deep and her boobs jiggled. His wife was in the room the whole time.
I tried to steer the conversation into blatantly nonsexual conversations the whole time, and it was finally over. He offered the same treatment to my partner some time, asked for hugs, invited us back anytime, and then we took our eggs and left. We laughed when we got into the car, making bets that they’re swingers, still processing what happened, but after we got home I started feeling really bad. I have some sexual trauma and this brought up a similar “I want to shower for ten hours” feeling. I am usually good at boundaries, but I freeze when things get sexual without my consent.
I also just have an issue where I apparently can’t make friends without them wanting to get with me. A lot of friendships dissolved from that. My partner and I aren’t strictly monogamous, and I’m wondering if the couple recognized us from any app or whatever. Still, I talked to a non monogamous friend about it, and he was appalled by the implied consent tactic.
I want to keep going to the church, but I’m so uncomfortable. Nothing was explicitly said, so I feel like he’d deny that he was trying something and say he just jokes like that. On top of the trauma, I’ve recently had another friendship fall through because I didn’t want to get with him, and it’s starting to feel like I can’t just have a community or friendships without people wanting more. I feel so low.
How do I establish boundaries if I can’t directly confront them?
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2021.10.26 15:16 phiatortilla Conan when Jordan Schlansky is a late
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2021.10.26 15:16 lowkeypicasso The Economist
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2021.10.26 15:16 nelbar Gwei to Metic | Gas fee | Metamask
Acording to this page: https://polygonscan.com/unitconverter 30 Gwei are 0.00000003 Metic.
However if I use 30 Gwei in my Metamask as Gas Fee, the actual Metic amount is much higher.
What do I miss here?
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2021.10.26 15:16 Agument Starting comics
Hey I'm a novice when it comes to DCcomics, I red Batman Court of Owls and really liked it and would like to read more of him. I also red Justice league Vol.1 which was pretty good aswell, so you guys got any recomendations?
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2021.10.26 15:16 armenianevey Searching for a clothing line
Hello! I met a woman who bought a raincoat in Amsterdam and I loved it. The brand was something like “New American” but I CANNOT remember it to go order a coat. Website was in German.
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2021.10.26 15:16 RichEven Which Barbossa is your favourite
2021.10.26 15:16 Purrrple_Pepper Flying bats
Hello, everyone! I must say, I'm a total noob in the videomapping art, but I own a projector and would like to project some flying bats on the wall in Halloween. There are some videos of flying bats available in youtube, but the effect is not so cool as I think it would be if only the bats appeared (without a background, even a black one). Is it possible to make? There are some videos of bats flying on a green screen - would those be easier to map?
Thanks in advance!
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2021.10.26 15:16 Fasteasfake69 Just a lit bit of a motivator for guys
2021.10.26 15:16 LonelyWoodpecker7907 no Porn fack
2021.10.26 15:16 Bruh_just_hold Benassi - Maze [Prod. Mxrio] (Official Visualizer)
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2021.10.26 15:16 TheMuttOfMainStreet 8750/7000 watt inverter vs 11000/8000 watt standard generator?
I’m debating between
Pros: dual fuel LP and GAS, more wattage Cons: louder, worse fuel economy
Pros: stable power, smart throttle Cons: less wattage, gasoline only
Both are around the same price, I already own a small 2250/1800 inverter that can power any one 20 amp appliance / tool or two or three small ones. Just wondering what’s sufficient to run a house with an electric range, dryer, central HVAC one at a time plus small electronics and appliances like fans and lamps and chargers.
submitted by TheMuttOfMainStreet to preppers [link] [comments]
2021.10.26 15:16 _darth_plagueis Vale a pena vender ETFs na bovespa para tranferir pro exterior?
Eu tenho uma boa porção valor em IVVB11 na bovespa, eu tenho um bom ganho nestas ETFs. Pelos meus cálculos eu tenho algo em torno de 98% de ganhos sobre o valor investido. Eu acabei de abrir uma conta no Interactive Brokers e queria tranferir para lá para ter menos impostos e me proteger de variações cambiais, mas se eu vou pagar 15% sobre os IVVB11 vendidos será que vale a pena mesmo? Alguém passou por situação parecida? Considerando os impostos, não sei se vale a pena, mas tem a questão da proteção contra a variação do dolar.
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2021.10.26 15:16 aKLUaKLU Did anyone here take NSC2122 - Naval Weapons? Interesting? Difficult as an engineering tech class?
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2021.10.26 15:16 407ryan One more so we can come back to these and laugh at
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2021.10.26 15:16 undue-influence Report: Kamala Harris Publicly Distances Herself from Biden as Polling Numbers Tank
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2021.10.26 15:16 Independent-Ad8151 Can anyone tribute my hijabi sister or my busty gf?
2021.10.26 15:16 ShortAlgo $DAL waiting for Buy signal on DAL https://t.co/1SBX3sRioV
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2021.10.26 15:16 nahzztv [SEARCHING] Townhall 10 Level 90
Looking to join a new clan, must be able to accept all three of my accounts. (Townhall 10, 8, 9) also looking to start a clan with someone.
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2021.10.26 15:16 Nuewim What number of coins have manangos?
2021.10.26 15:16 alle15minuten Gerade ist es October 26, 2021 at 08:16PM
2021.10.26 15:16 ruli18life Terrasauria: Early saurocene- the voreian greatzard
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2021.10.26 15:16 ToddJustWorks Praise Todd Howard
2021.10.26 15:16 IronWolve When its not about safety, it's about leftists punishing people who peacefully resist fascism.
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2021.10.26 15:16 ReachSensitive So f###ing close to 0.00005